Cambodia Culture & Feminism

I grew up in a culture where people define a good girl as one that is "quiet and doesn't talk back" during meetings. For a really long time, I obeyed. Why? Because I did see anything "wrong" with it; I mean I thought it was just how things are. Here in Cambodia, most women stay home, do dishes, watch after kids, cook. While their husbands leave to eat breakfast (usually soup noodles), they get their children ready to go to school. Women are certainly not treated as equally as men. Women have limited opportunities, especially in labor forces. Often times, are seen as vulnerable, low-status, illiterate beings.

All the causes of this date back in History. In Khmer culture, women as old as 15 years old have to stay home and learn how to sew, cook, and basically look after a family. This tradition is called "jol mlob". Then, these poor women would be forced by parents to get married. Some of them do not even get to see what their spouse look like. When it comes to marriage, girls have no say whatsoever. It's all up to the parents.

In fact, two of my aunts, my grandmother and more women I know were all affected by this. This is one of the reasons why I strongly stand against illogical, simply false cultural ideas. Do not get me wrong; there are of course good parts about Cambodian culture. However, this one is just not right. It has to be addressed. Voices need to be heard. The cry of these women needs to be heard.

I am lucky to have been borned in a generation where these old ideas has been partially eliminated. Due to lack of education, women in the country sides are still being forced to follow this vacuous tradition.

Women in any part of the world, not just Cambodia, should have the rights to receive Education, same payment fees, the same opportunities and the same rights- whether it's to choose spouse or to speak up.

Define 'Feminism' 


"For the record – Feminism by definition is: “The belief that men and women should have equal rights and
opportunities. It is the theory of the political, economic and social equality of the sexes”. "

             -Emma Watson (HeForShe Campaign Launching Event 2014)

I, for one, have been asked a million of times either by my peers or random people to define 'Feminism'.  Over time, I notice how my definition of "feminism" gradually changes. It went from being "an ideology that supports acts of women-loving" to "an ideology that supports the acts of both men and women-loving. In general, equality." Often times, I would get positive responses. While others just love to challenge. Don't get me wrong, I love challenges. It only makes my belief in feminism stronger. 

One time, a girl said to me, "feminism is not asking for equality in the society. It's more like men-hating." I have lost count of how many times I have heard this undoubtedly false saying. Feminists who claim feminism as "men-hating" are not true feminists- or shall I say feminists who lack knowledge and humanity. I tried by best explaining to her about how we raise awareness for both men and women in our campaigns; for instance, HeForShe promotes freedom for both sexes. Freedom from judgment, stereotypes, cultural expectations, etc. When all else failed, she still refused to understand the whole concept of Feminism, I gave her a simple Math equation. I said, "Okay. Let's say we have X and Y are two different values. Right now, Y has slightly more value than X in certain cultures. What we want is for X and Y to be equal, but did we ever say that we would take out from Y in order to add onto X to make it equal? No. We never said that. We do not demand lesser of anything. Y can stay as they are; what we want though, is for X to be added with whatever's needed to make it the same value as Y." She never dared to ask me again ever since.

Miss Watson asked a great question in her speech, "why has feminism become such an uncomfortable word?" For women like Emma and I, it is not, for we believe too firmly to be afraid to declare ourselves people who fight to change, to ask for what is right. Others might just be out there wondering, maybe also complaining about being called "girly" and being paid less, but never thought of taking on action. I don't blame these people, maybe they just have not came across the thought of doing something, or maybe they are under oppression. Whatever it is, it's time to act- join the other brave ladies. While these people are still "educable," other women are just being too ignorant to Feminism. More than that, they are just "ashamed" of the act. They claim that it is selfish and inhumane. I am not targeting anyone, but we all have to admit that there are people out there who denies to know, understand and consider. All we, feminists, could do is try our best to reach out and explain to them how the issues (involving feminism) are affecting them. Maybe by then they would reconsider their ideas.

To sum up, feminism is defined in many different ways depending on who you are and what side you are on. Some definitions are legitimate and acceptably right while others are simply false accusations of what Feminism really is. Feminism is not meant to be bad. I am sure every activists- Hilary Clinton, Emma Watson, etc- has made this clear.


"If you believe in equality, you might be one of those inadvertent feminists I spoke of earlier. And for this I applaud you. We are struggling for a uniting word but the good news is we have a uniting movement. It is called HeForShe. I am inviting you to step forward, to be seen to speak up; to be the ‘he for she’ - and to ask yourself if not me, who, if not, now when. "  - Emma Watson



Read the full speech here: http://www.heforshe.org/EmmaWatsonSpeech.pdf

Standing up for ourselves - Necessary or not?

Fifteen minutes ago, I came across a news about a girl being victimised of revenge porn. Is this the first time that we have seen stories like this come up? No, indeed not. I took time to read through the article and contemplate on it. The article alone already pains me, however what hurts even more are the comments. I glanced down and I saw were people blaming her, judging her for what she had done. Quite frankly, I would not blame her for this. I believe that she did it because she trusted her boyfriend. Blaming her would be like blaming a person for trusting. She had the trust, but the good judgement was not there. If only she would stop at that moment and think about the circumstances that would come.

"Modern feminism is not necessary," stated one of the comments from a woman in the comment section. Believe me or not, I have not only seen one, but a lot of women who refuses to stand for themselves. What does not make even more sense to me was the fact that she commented it on a post that shows just why and how much we need feminism. Feminism is needed not only to seek for gender equality between men and women, but rather to protect and educate women to love and stand up for themselves. Not to be misunderstood for an "act of promoting man-hating" ideas, feminism is to help both men and women understand the need for equality in the society where no one individual deserves to be victimised.

The people who commented harsh, blameful, judgemental words clearly did not think hard enough on this. It is not only an issue that deals with feminism, but rather everyone out there- both men and women. The article sends a clear message- think before you act. Of course, this would not have happened of the woman had had stopped and thought for herself, but allow me to ask this question: would have it happened if the men decided to stop and think about how much of a trouble he would cause for her? I want you now to weigh the two mistakes-one made by the girl and the other by the guy- in your head. Is it the girl's mistake that is heavier or is it the guy's? In this case, it is the guy's mistake that weighs heavier. Did he make the mistake out of trust? No. He did it out of revenge. Revenge. Again, may I remind you that this article is not written as an intend to make all men look like the guy in the article, but rather to disprove the people who attacked the victim with harsh comments. If even after reading this you still think that it's the woman's fault and that feminism is indeed "unecessary", I advice you to stop thinking and give up; I will just go ahead and tell you that the problem doesn't lie in the fact that you are "not figuring out what the right thing is". The problem lies in your resistance to knowing about the truth; it lies within your denial of Feminism.

To all the women out there, especially those who think that feminism is not necessary, may you allow me to ask you these questions below. If WE women do not even stand up, protect and strengthen ourselves, WHO will? And if we don't stand up NOW, WHEN will we?

To those who are already standing, myself included, STAND FIRM.

Here's the link to the article: http://www.buzzfeed.com/rossalynwarren/a-victim-of-revenge-porn-released-her-own-nude-photos-to-tak?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#4ldqpgp
--I will be writing another article explaining what I believe Feminism is next time--